Author Topic: Garden funnies  (Read 1551 times)

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Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2008, 02:56:09 AM »
DAFFY DEFINITION #8:

NURSERY: The only known place where money grows on trees.
-H.B. & R.McK.

Will have more DAFFY DEFINITIONS next week! Words like VERMICULITE, RANUNCULUS, CULTIVATION and INSECT!
   - Toby


Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #16 on: May 05, 2008, 03:12:23 AM »
DAFFY DEFINITION #9

VERMICULITE: Obscure order of nuns dedicated to gardening. Like other devotional orders, the sisters take the traditional vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience, but in keeping with the demanding nature of their calling, the Vermiculites are the only such group with special dispensation to drink, smoke, swear, and throw things. ? H.B. & R.McK.

Sounds like they?re like most gardeners I know. Even me. (But I quit smoking long time ago.) - Toby

Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #17 on: May 06, 2008, 03:03:02 AM »
DAFFY DEFINITION #10

RANUNCLULUS: Third brother of Romulus and Remus. According to Roman legend, while his siblings were taken in and cared for by a she-wolf, Ranunculus was raised by buttercups. The shepherd who found Romulus and Remus stepped on Ranunculus, killing him instantly. ? H.B. & R.McK. - Toby


Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #18 on: May 07, 2008, 02:59:09 AM »
DAFFY DEFINITION #11

CULTIVATION: The only sure method of removing weeds is by ?working the soil? with fork, spade, or hoe to loosen the roots. With stubborn weeds, however, it?s best to ?live and let live? and simply label the offending plant with its Latin name and modestly accept compliments on its robust growth. ? H.B. & R.McK.

- Toby

Online ideasguy

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #19 on: May 07, 2008, 08:14:04 AM »
That labelling program (GA048) is going to be real useful! I must stock up on labelling material  :)
Was that comment sponsored by Avery?

Online Kathy & Laurie

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Harlow Carr Gardens, Harrogate, UK
« Reply #20 on: May 07, 2008, 10:20:38 PM »
During our visit to Harlow Carr Gardens on Tuesday last, we couldn't resist sharing the following two photos.

The person who planted these must have been drunk - fancy putting them in upside down.  ;)



In the photo below we haven't got a clue what variety of plants these are on the wooden posts.  Any ideas?  :-\



Laurie.

Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2008, 02:44:17 AM »
George:  Regarding you referencing GA048 in the CULTIVATION Definition, I too, had been thinking about using this ?weed? identification in my own garden. Maybe we can offer a random selection GA048 program for members to use for identifying ?weeds?. That is, you just click on a Latin name that is given on the program that sounds like a good name for the ?weed? and it creates a label automatically. No body will know the difference that visits my yard. Maybe somebody can make up some nice authentic looking and sounding names for us to use.
- Toby

Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2008, 02:50:07 AM »
DAFFY DEFINITION #12

INSECT: Insects are not ?bad? by nature, but they quickly pick up antisocial habits by ?hanging around? with thousands of ?bad eggs? in crowded, dimly lit nests. (In more than one case, irresponsible mothers, or ?queens, ? have been found to have over one million children ? many more than they can care for properly.) It?s a vicious cycle as newly hatched individuals get hooked on ?plant juice? and turn into hardened garden felons. A few groups have tried working with insects. Arthropod House, for example, has had limited success retraining termites to sharpen pencils and has found jobs for some of the smaller flying insects in the circus field, but on the whole the picture is rather bleak.
- H.B. & R.McK.

- Toby

Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2008, 03:17:17 AM »
DAFFY DENITION #13

QUINCE: Fruit tree that lent its name to a traditional English garden sport. The game of quince is based on a wager in the late 14th century between the earl of Agway and the bishop of London as to whose gardeners could produce the first ripe quinces of the season to be made into jam for King Henry, who was very fond of the stuff. As it is played today, teams of amateur gardeners simultaneously plant specimens of the tree in barrels in the center of quince court ? a large greenhouse with seating for spectators. The object of the contest is deceptively simple: By careful pruning and the judicious use of precisely measured amounts of water, fertilizer, and plant sprays, to produce the first ripe quince weighing at least 7-1/2 ounces. Modern matches, in a practice much deplored by traditionalists, start with mature trees rather than seed and last about 200 days, compared to the four or more years of the prewar tussles. Attendance is generally spotty after the colorful opening ceremonies, but there are always a few people on hand to cry ?good wood? when a particularly well-though-out bit of pruning is executed with a nice flourish of the shears. In the final week, the betting ? not encouraged ? is stiff, the tension is high, and the stands are packed as the judges begin to apply their scales to the larger fruits. And, of course, it is difficult to convey the excitement and the sheer drama in the center quince court at Kew in late September as the head judge plucks the winning fruit, mashes it with an ironwood gavel, and declares it ?fit and worthy for His Majesty?s muffins.?
- H.B. & R.McK.

Sounds like fun to watch!  Anything like this going on at Chelsea, George?

That?s all for this week, next week we will learn about how Hollyhocks help you in the garden and how Espalier began.

- Toby

Online ideasguy

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #24 on: May 10, 2008, 12:58:18 PM »
RE:
Quote
Anything like this going on at Chelsea, George?
I'm sure the tour guide will already be aware of such an important event.  ;D

Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #25 on: May 12, 2008, 02:32:52 AM »
DAFFY DEFINITION #14

HOLLYHOCK: Tall flowering plant that has been nicknamed ?the gardener?s barometer? since it records high winds by falling over and breaking off near the ground, very heavy rain by losing all its blossoms, and the presence of Japanese beetles and the caterpillar stage of the rare painted-lady butterfly by disappearing entirely. ? H.B. & R.McK.

- Toby

Online ideasguy

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #26 on: May 12, 2008, 09:40:53 AM »
Hey, they missed the most common attribute - the ability to indicate rust fungi

Heres a good link:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/gqt/fsheets/02_06_02/fsheetsq10.shtml

Online Kathy & Laurie

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #27 on: May 12, 2008, 09:58:48 AM »
Still haven't received any suggestions for names of the upside down tree and rubber plants in Harlow Carr gardens photos above.  :(

Must have everyone 'stumped  :D  (Pun intended.)

Laurie.

Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #28 on: May 13, 2008, 03:13:53 AM »
Laurie:
  Re: The rather large upright specimens that you photographed when you visited Harlow Carr Gardens are, I believe, a variety of tree know as the ?Bare-Bottom? Tree, if they still had the root ball covering on them, then they would be called the ?Diapered Bare-Bottom? Tree. I?m not too sharp on this Taxonomy stuff, but I believe this to be correct.

The other mystery photo must show some rare specimens of the Rubber Tree Family, but I am not sure if they can be classified as part of the ?Wellies? family or not? They might be left over from a photo shoot that BBC?s Magazine, GARDENS ILLUSTRATED, Issue #131, that?s dated for November 2007, did on pages 48-53. If you can get a copy of the magazine, it is well worth taking a look at, I thought it was a beautiful work of art and of merchandising!
   - Toby

Online bossgard

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Re: Garden funnies
« Reply #29 on: May 13, 2008, 03:20:11 AM »
DAFFY DEFINITION #15

BEE: Generic name of any of a number of stinging insects, most commonly the honeybee. Contrary to popular belief, bees almost never sting, unless they are mating, feeding, resting, swarming, leaving the hive, or returning to the hive. -- H.B. & R.McK.
- Toby